Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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