2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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