..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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