I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
