It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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