im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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