Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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