Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
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according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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