It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
