areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
