He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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