I got her a Nickelback box set.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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