hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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