her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
There's even glitter on my cock...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
