doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
