Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
