I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
