You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
