mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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