maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize