How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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