Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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