She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
