margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
