I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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