In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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