But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I understand Curling. That high.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
