Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
