Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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