Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
