Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I cut my penus on the lid.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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