I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
