But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
