im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
