she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
