you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
