So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize