Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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