I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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