if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
