That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
