It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
where am i from again
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
