bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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