I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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