forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize