In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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