ya dads aren't the best wingmen
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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