its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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