don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
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I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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