Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
