Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
