You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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