I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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