Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
