Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
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he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love