And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
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Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
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Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.