he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
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She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
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You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals