you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
