I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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