it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i wish my penis had a tongue
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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